types of confrontation in counseling

• Home
• Blog
• About
• Tutorials

Maggie-Thanks for checking about the live sessions. thank you. You have added to my repertoire.. i am still believing that only when I feel the specific new current with the couple and them as individuals, then, is the opportunity for determining the specific strategy to be used. Professionals from around the world connect with her through internet, conference calls and blog discussions to study couples therapy. Confrontation is one of the basic counseling interventions counselors use to promote the wellness of the client. Confrontation is a technique used in therapy to recognize shortcomings and their possible consequences. The author explores ways in which confrontation can be used to challenge discrepancies, distortions, games and smoke screens, … It seems that 1pm California time on Thursday is 8am Melbourne time on Friday. . Are all the live sessions of this mini-workshop at 1 pm California time, & 1-hour long? Food for thought. Thank you for your insights and skill. Wonderful video and material. The core of confrontation in the mid-1990s was placing blame on the addict and focusing on punishing him until he changed his ways. The idea is to help the client explore their own conflict more deeply, with the goal being the formulation of a new idea or plan that will benefit the client. So, as we begin our mini-workshop on confrontation, let’s define confrontation. I just watched your video on 6 types of confrontation. Pondering disarms the … And we will answer participants questions so those will probably be different. It gives ways to do this as a response to the existing situation and communications at the moment. I am currently working with a couple who seems constantly engaged in a negative cycle of anger and communication. Dr.Charles Hershkowitz, Brussels, Belgium, presently in sunny Nice, France on vacation. If we are not confronting partners they will continue to repeat unhealthy patterns without knowing it or without any way to change it. I am so glad that you value empathic and ‘soft’ methods of responding. They will be somewhere between 60 and 90 minutes depending on how many questions we get from participants. In the early years, this particular model used techniques like humiliation to “convince” an addict to seek help. Do I simply go back to the earlier levels of confrontation? It is . work for multicultural counseling competency in Chapter 1, “A Conceptual Framework for Counseling Across Cultures.” In Chapter 2, “The Cross-Cultural Encounter: Meeting the Challenge of Culturally Competent Counseling,” Courtland C. Lee presents an analysis of encounters between counselors and clients from different cultural backgrounds. Thank you summarizing the 6 types of confrontation. She has been featured on over 50 radio and television programs including "The Today Show" and "CBS Early Morning News," and she has been quoted in many publications including "The New York Times," "The Oprah Magazine" and "Cosmopolitan.". It really helps to be able to identify the different types. Thank you Ellyn. At the same time I know that my situation is very particular and I have little hope that a confrontation will change anything as it might with someone who comes to therapy and wants to change. Internal attibutional has to do, with a sense of condemnation and external attributional style has to do with the. Many thanks. I too would vote to not have the music playing in the background going forward. As a therapist, it took concerted effort for me to learn how to be nice and make effective confrontations at the same time. I also loved the feedback you offered to Ellen – suggesting it can be helpful to open a confrontational dialogue with … “the reason I am doing this is …..”- it seems to give the possibility of presenting the ‘event’ with an uplifting purpose and proposing that there can/will be positive outcomes embedded in what looks like difficulties. Confrontation Confrontation is a skill that can assist clients to increase their self-awareness. Dr. Polster used confrontation with empathy, as well as firmness. Stages of Implementing the Confrontation Technique. Hi Ellyn, Thank you for your accessibility both in video form and note form as well as personally. It is good for us to remember that according to most of the definitions of the word we are dealing with grown-ups and and we can find ways of calling a spade a spade so the digging can commence . Dear Ellyn, first of all thank you. The confrontation that should happen here is within the client. Helpfull to be aware of different tecniques for skillful communication. I really find it useful to think through confrontation in these categories and building categories and building on types of confrontations. I think it is important to confront when necessary and find it rather challenging to do so with male client (Asian). Even educating couples themselves about the six types of confrontations can be helpful for them when they tried to talk about topics at home. I am looking forward to using gentle confrontation to help them break this cycle. Very clear explanation on confrontation and its types. Enjoyed the information. There are times we all need to confront our couples this helps me pay more attention to when and what type I use. Ivey, Ivey, & Zalaquett (2011) noted that confrontation need not be harsh, or intense.The researchers explained confrontation is “a gentle skill that involves listening” ( p. 161) in an empathetic way in order to help them sort out their situations in a focused way. Psychodynamic therapy relies less on exercises and activities than most other types of therapy, but there are some very important tools in the psychodynamic toolbox that allow the therapist to delve deep into the unconscious mind with their clients. Today, confrontation is still highly used among interventionists, but it handled with more care. Ellen-Please remember that when you confront another person (your mother), it usually works best to tell them the motive you have for making the confrontation. I have recommended this mini-workshop to several other therapists Thank you Ellyn for a thought provoking video on Confrontation. I no longer have to question if it is helpful to do so. Also referred to as cognitive reframing, it's a strategy therapists often use to help clients look at situations from a slightly different perspective. Understanding and applying these types of confrontations for therapeutic effect, is essential to working with any couple. On the other hand, if you use the Avoiding style of conflict management, issues may go unaddressed. Reframing is a technique used in therapy to help create a different way of looking at a situation, person, or relationship by changing its meaning. Types of Counselling: The following are the types of counseling: 1. A good confrontation is gentle, supportive and accurately reflects what the client has shared with you. I have participated in various trainings focused on couples therapy, but I have found her developmental framework and training to be exceptional.”   When it’s used: Confrontation is often used when the counsellor observes mixed messages or incongruities in the client’s words, behaviours, feelings or thoughts. It is helpful to be able to utilize the structure you provide, however. Experience helps in learning to discern. I imagine you’ll cover this in the calls, but — if I’ve moved too quickly up at the confrontation scale and have lost a connection with one or both people, how do I repair? I’m always grateful for your generosity. This can help the counselor guide and direct their counseling accordingly. Indirect confrontation. PS…. I had to learn how to make incisive confrontations or watch couples repeat the same negative patterns over and over. I found this clear and and highly useful and very interesting. As an executive coach I will definitely be able to apply these types of confrontation in my practice. 1. The use of confrontational strategies in individual, group and family substance abuse counseling emerged through a confluence of cultural factors in We will use different case examples that come in to do the role plays. William L. White, MA, and William R. Miller, PhD . 11. peak experience in which the Join me now and watch this 9-minute video to discover: Click here to download your handout, The 6 Types of Confrontation. I liked it. In the comment section below, please tell me how knowing these six different types of confrontation might be helpful for you, or share your reactions to the video. I was relieved to hear you say that over time these types of confrontation become internalized and flow within us as therapists more fluidly. Thank you Ellyn. There is prayer as direct, prayer as worship. Seems I do some of this already, but did not have a name for it. The second step requires the counsellor to bring about awareness of these incongruities and assist the client to work through these. A four-step process is ordinarily used to implement a confrontation technique: (1) listen for discrepancies, (2) summarize and clarify, (3) confront empathically, and (4) observe and evaluate. The Avoiding style of conflict is useful when confrontation may be dangerous or damaging, when an issue is unimportant, or when a situation needs to cool down, or when you need more time to prepare. Confrontation The five tools and techniques below are common practice for many types of psychodynamic therapy. tomorrow I have a client until 1:30–so I shall join in then. Provides the challenge of being more intentional with the technique. This is considered an advanced skill because confrontation involves more of an Ellyn Bader, Ph.D., is Co-Founder & Director of The Couples Institute and creator of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. I really appreciate the clarity you have delivered about confrontation, and the wisdom you have in the field. Your note at the bottom of the handout seemed to indicate that. Confrontation Ruptures Sometimes when clients are not making progress in therapy it becomes obvious that there is a problem in the therapeutic alliance. A counselor might confront a client who is chronically late to session or who repeatedly violates the counselor's boundaries. Thank you for sharing! I really wanted to sink into what you were saying and imagine myself inside the methods you were exploring… for me the music was overstimulating and agitating; preventing me from the deep listening I wanted to be engaged in. Secondly, will you please speak some about situation when confrontation “does not go well” – evokes defensiveness, etc. The wrong types of questioning techniques, at the wrong time, in the hands o f an unskilled interviewer or counselor, can cause unnecessary discomfort and confusion to the client. I would like to echo Glynis’ comment about the background music. Thank you Ellyn (and everyone else who has commented) for the wonderful learning opportunity. Ellyn, Thanks for sharing your expertise on this topic. I found your description and naming of these types of confrontation was immensely helpful. Adlerian therapy is a short-term, goal-oriented, and positive psychodynamic therapy based on the theories of Alfred Adler—a one-time colleague of Sigmund Freud. Charles-Thanks for checking.The first live workshop is at 1pm California time on Wednesday and the second one is at 6pm California time on Thursday. Confrontation is an set initiated by the counselor for the client with the intention of helping the client move from a stAte of . It’s also nice to know that it is a “good” thing to apply confrontation at various times in the session. Confrontation: This does not mean the client confronting the therapist, or vice versa. I found naming these types of confrontation immensely helpful. Ellyn’s first book, "In Quest of the Mythical Mate," won the Clark Vincent Award by the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists for its outstanding contribution to the field of marital therapy and is now in its 18th printing. This is always my first step, and when a client/couple know that you as a therapist both understand and accept them, then they become more open to looking at the aspects of their behaviour that challenge their self-concept, that they have to defend. Then you can use more direct and challenging confrontations. It is good to know what I am doing with the understanding of why I am doing it and for what purpose. Using statements about yourself helps you to begin the confrontation by taking some of the responsibility so you're better able to communicate the problem. Thank you for providing this education to us as therapist. Ellyn, Thanks as always for sharing your expertise. The examples were most useful. Looking forward to the rest of the series. Thank Ellyn Good luck. I like the way you divided out the levels of congregation we can use to agitate our couples toward healthy growth. A major help lies in pointing out to this inner person these outer, learned behavior patterns. I wanted the wife to begin to consider something but knew she would feel judged. Directive Counselling: Wonderful video and material. Recently I did a bombshell with a gay male couple three years into their relationship. There are always many forks in the road when making a decision about which confrontation to use. The first step involves the identification of mixed or incongruent messages (expressed through the client’s words or non-verbals). The silence in which the client, is pondering in which client thinks intently, 3, questioning in which client values right and wrong and give ownership, 4th is, direct censure is used when there is a high level of, confronting counseling which is sometimes not the best counseling strategy, this, There are: privately praying for clients, routinely, praying aloud while in session, routine in session prayer, occasional in session, prayer, devotional meditation during session, training with in session prayer and, homework, and devotional meditation outside sessions. A Colleague’s Comment on Training with Ellyn Bader, “Ellyn’s online clinical training has enabled me to be even more confident in my couples work. I’m looking forward to attending your life session on Thursday. Having tools to access what type of confrontation and when it would be most effective to utilize one of them gives me a frame so that I feel more of a sense of effacy. In an article published in Counselor – The Magazine for Addiction Professionals, titled “Confrontation in Addiction Treatment,” the authors indicate that harsh confrontation techniques have been considerably softened. Understanding and defining the types of equips me. Theresa. describes itself in this manner, “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is, profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness” 2, Timothy 3:16. Describe the dynamics of an effective therapeutic relationship in. This blog post is from a 5 day “mini-workshop” on confrontation. It give the therapist the courage to do name the elephant or the grasshopper in the room . is the internal and external of the way people explain good, and the lives of others. Numerous counseling types are also available for individuals dealing with depression, anxiety, loss, or trauma (e.g., Interpersonal Counseling, CBT, and EMDR). So, I turned toward her husband and raised the issue in the form of a question and he was able to consider it and from this the wife was able to enter into a very important reciprocal conversation. Thank you Ellyn. This helps you avoid placing blame on the offending person and making them go immediately on the defensive. This can help the counselor guide and direct their counseling accordingly. Very useful and practical information. Although I am not a Couples Therapist, The way you described the different types of Confrontation and the Confrontation Cycle is very interesting and helpful. I appreciate your support in helping us in our skills as therapists. I found the descriptions of the six types of confrontations clarifying. h 5 types of confrontation in counseling They consist of silence pondering, 3 out of 3 people found this document helpful, questioning, direct censure and not confronting. .I regret that at this Moment I am not working with any couples and hope to be soon. Any challenge needs to be delivered thoughtfully and accurately. By framing it as a therapeutic intervention that we will use in many kinds of therapy, they can also see that it is done with consideration and meaning. The confrontation that should happen here is within the client. It is a good reminder that confrontation is not shooting from the hip in a reactive way, but is a well-planned, well executed intervention. Also, as you suggest using the various types of confrontation systematically within a session (or sessions), I think the 6 types of confrontation are also an excellent way to learn and practice. I’d also love a bit more discussion between you and Pete on the testing phase of the sessions. "Caring confrontation" sides with the inner growing child-person, when needed, and tries to give this part of the client the help needed to come forward. Thank you for the video on confrontation. I often do soft and empathic confrontation. When using the scriptures in counseling, it is important to consider the, impact it will have upon the client. They allow people to work through their problems and lead a happier and healthier life. It is with this time that scripture, naturally flows "creatively, spontaneously, and confidently" from the counselor. sure that there is a comfortability involved with client. In other words, in a confrontation you describe where each partner is stuck, showing them how they are preventing the growth of their relationship and then providing a way out. I am doing the training so this is a very useful addition to my learning and I’m really pleased because the live call is at a time I can listen from Melbourne Australia! There are three steps to confrontation in counselling. Confrontation in counseling is neither an Attack nor a chal­ lenge to fight it out. Thanks Ellen. This, of course, is not the goal of counseling. Will first live session be available as a recording as I have missed it? Abstract . Thanks so much. Excellent video. I appreciate that. Looking forward to the rest of the workshop. Thanks again for your generosity in sharing your caring expertise, looking forward to the next steps!! I found my favorite definition of confrontation in Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary. Confrontation is often used when the counsellor observes mixed messages or incongruities in the client’s words, behaviours, feelings or thoughts. Reflective listening differs in … I love it and and find it so supportive, informative and validating. It can be used to highlight discrepancies that clients have previously been unaware of. Naming the six types of confrontation were very helpful. Hi Ellyn, In teaching new therapists, I can help them see that this may be part of why they think they won’t like couples work. When using confrontation, the counselor highlights incongruities between the client's verbal and nonverbal communication or within the client's verbal communication in order to facilitate the client's awareness of conflicts associated with specific issues of topics. Click for Day 2: Confrontation Transcript: Indecision after Infidelity, Click for Day 3: Confrontation Video: Challenging Hypocrisy, Click for Day 4: Confrontation Options: Financial Irresponsibility, Click for Day 5: Confrontation Transcript: Disrupting Hidden Symbiosis When done carefully, confrontation leads to expanded awareness by the members and strengthens group cohesion. best Cathy Marakovits, LCSW, Marietta, GA, This blog post is from a 5 day “mini-workshop” on confrontation. As always your concrete explanation is so very helpful. I believe it will be less daunting for me to start with a gentle confrontation and, as my skills develop, work my way up to a bombshell if, and when, appropriate. Just finished watching Video 1. I always learn lots, and the role playing helps. It is so helpful and as you say, it is absolutely necessary to learn to do in order to an effective couples therapist. The client should be able to self-examine themselves during counseling. Just the reframe of how beautifully effective confrontation can be increases my courage to enact more of it in session. Thanks so much Ellyn for this clear and succinct description of using confrontation. The levels of congregation is something I struggle with identifying, so this has been a helpful lesson to me. When I was growing up, if I had issues with my sister or my mother, my father sent me to my room  saying, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”. Thank you again! Thank you so much Ellyn for providing this great resource! Confrontation is a skill that can assist clients to increase their self-awareness. Types of Counseling 7. Thank Ellen, that was very helpful. I appreciate you languaging the distinctions among the various styles of confrontation. We all survived and moved to a deeper level of healing as one is a sexual abuse survivor who was unfaithful and the other is new to relating to a man and has been bullied and ostracized in his youth. Short Essay responses: (Limit your responses to 100 words per question). The confrontation got them out of their thinking and verbalizong into deep emotional processing. I appreciated getting the sense of a landscape of ways that confrontation can be worked – and experienced. Hi, at this time I am mainly interested in the topic of confrontation not so much to use it as a therapist but because I feel it is time to confront my mother about my life in regards to sexual abuse that happened when I was a small infant and child. An effective technique for peaceful confrontation is using "I" phrases to talk about the situation. Thank you for the examples on how to confront in a positively directional manner. In addition, counselling also helps save lives. expect to get out of counseling. Thanks Ellyn, once again, for being generous in sharing your expertise with everyone. Thank you, Ellyn. For example clients may explicitly express concerns about not making progress or complain about the treatment approach. Many thanks, Ellyn, for this video and your very succinct description of the types of confrontation. I’m in Scotland and trying to work out which session would be best, and if I have to do both of them? Checking out what time the sessions will be for UK time??? Really enjoyed the video, and especially the PDF that went along with it that gave examples of the different confrontation types and responses. Instead of saying, "You didn't do what I told you to do, and you made me upset," try, "I feel frustrated when my directions aren't well received." It can be used to highlight discrepancies that clients have previously been unaware of. Luckily, therapeutic confrontation can be incorporated into counseling strategy to identify behaviors or trends, talk through an issue, and bring about a realistic solution. p~ss1v1ty . This is a big shift from the dread I usually feel at the mere mention of word ‘confrontation’. Thanks! Cone, A Final Paper Multicultural Child Counseling, University of Phoenix • HUMAN SERV BSHS 325, Ohio Christian University • HUMAN SERV ps1000, Liberty University Online Academy • HUMAN SERVICES COUNSELING 502. The educational part will be the same. I think there were a few things that could help me stick with what I want to express. According to MacCluskie (2010), effective confrontation promotes insight and awareness, reduces resistance, increases congruence between the client’s goals and their behaviors, promotes open communication, and leads Challenging, challenge, or confrontation is one of the advanced skills employed in the process of counseling, to help the client gain awareness of incongruencies existing between their thoughts and feeling, actions and words, or body language and tone of voice. Thank you Ellyn. We can only approach the scripures as fallible human. I love how you say that couples therapy is about confrontation. Thank you for sharing this information, as a beginning practitioner being able to find useful and easy to understand information from experienced practitioners is very useful in helping me increase my skills. Pondering is another form of confrontation that may be effective as long as the counselor avoids manipulation (McMinn, 1996). There is no shame in taking counselling sessions as it only helps in the growth of an individual. Thank you for your information-rich presentation…. The Use of Confrontation in Addiction Treatment . He or she should consult the Holy Spirit or make. It makes sense that an empathic confrontation of naming some of the underlying feelings to the attack would be very helpful in deescalating the situation as well as in maintaining/strengthening the therapeutic connection. Thanks — looking forward to the live calls. I hope this is right, I’ll tune in then! Fantastic! "Caring confrontation," as I have used it, has often been for the client the first thing which has entering us into the realm of confrontation! It is important to reflect on the intervention and to maintain a dialogue with the client about its accuracy, being open to clarification and corrections. I found it affirming of my ability to confront, which I don’t always find easy to do, and also I really value the distinctions you name here, as I haven’t thought about the differences before now, though I use the different types often. SCM is influenced by James's work(1890) and Merleau-Pony (1945,1962), as well … I especially enjoyed your description of the cycle – and how much thought must go in to making an effective confrontation. This preview shows page 2 - 4 out of 6 pages. Ellyn Bader, Ph.D., and Peter Pearson, Ph.D. have been featured in: Please enter your name and email address to receive our free articles on working with couples. The client should be able to self-examine themselves during counseling. History, Science, and Time for Change . Very useful information and much to think about. Hello, thanks Ellyn, for outlining clearly, specific types of confrontation and your cycle for processing. Again thank you for providing this workshop. When done awkwardly, it leads to increased resistance and defensiveness. Excellent review of problem solving, solution seeking approach to confrontation at effective levels. Wonder how I could evaluate how effective this is in my sessions (e.g., including in my client evaluations)? Without fully understanding the nature of confrontation and ways of confrontation, the effectiveness of a therapist helping couples navigate difficult problems is greatly lessened. And I have two questions. There are three types of transference: Positive; Negative; Sexualized; While transference is typically a term for the mental health field, it can manifest in your daily life when your brain tries to comprehend a current experience by examining the present through the past and, to your detriment, limiting the input of new information. Course Hero is not sponsored or endorsed by any college or university. Empathic responding is when the counselor clearly communicates the feeling their client has expressed as well as why they possess those feelings (again, according to the client); this is superior to all other responses in therapy. The way in which a counselor confronts a client depends on the client's culture as well as the theory or theories the counselor is using. Thanks Ellyn for sharing on the different levels of confrontation and the positive motivation behind rather than proving someone wrong. • Confrontation: We do not mean the client confronting the therapist, or vice versa. Click for Day 2: Confrontation Transcript: Indecision after Infidelity, Click for Day 3: Confrontation Video: Challenging Hypocrisy, Click for Day 4: Confrontation Options: Financial Irresponsibility, Click for Day 5: Confrontation Transcript: Disrupting Hidden Symbiosis. h. 5 types of confrontation in counseling- They consist of: silence, pondering, questioning, direct censure and not confronting. For couples, possible counseling choices include Holistic Counseling, The Gottman Method, Reality Therapy, and Narrative Therapy—among others.